Rational Crank

happy Halloween

  Recently I found myself in the town of Clearwater, Florida, world headquarters of a unique organization. My office was, maybe 400 yards, from what was once the First National Bank of Clearwater. The sturdy neoclassic designed building was decorated with massive Greek columns and the words “Church of Scientology” newly carved in the freeze. Apparently, the preferred wardrobe for many of the Church of Scientology members is simple black pants, black shoes and white button down shirts. I did not know this until recently. When I first arrived in Clearwater, I just thought the town employed an unusually high number of French waiters. I was there for f weeks.  Everyone in town was nice. I was never approached by devoted followers or dragged away and brainwashed by cult operatives. (At least I don’t think I was. That’s the funny thing about brainwashing. You never can know for sure, can you?) There was one interesting moment during my stay in the town, which I would like to d...

This just in: Today, on his Twitter page, Jesus Christ, philosopher and rumored “Son of God” announced “I quit being a Christian. I’m out. ” Twitter followers were stunned. “I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-science, anti-movies, anti-Halloween, anti-Harry Potter, anti-Teletubbies, anti-science fiction conventions, anti-Indian food, anti-Large Hadron Collider, anti-big words, anti-yoga, anti-Karma Sutra (pages 17 thru 49), anti-news that isn’t Fox, anti-history books, anti-Wikipedia, anti-trees, and especially anti-Will and Grace. I mean come on, who didn’t like Will and Grace. Jack was so funny. Am I right?” “I just, in good conscience, can no longer associate myself with this quarrelsome, hostile (and frankly way to needy) group. They all just need to get a life, always asking me for stuff. “Can you give me the lottery numbers? Will you rig the football games so my team will win? Can you smite the entire population of that country, over ther...

Recently during an email exchange with a friend of mine (in which I was trying to explain to him that the bible was not literally true) my friend explained to me that I was being controlled by the Devil. Although I was shocked (and yes, I’ll admit, a little bit flattered) I chose to I ignore the accusation. I was not going to be suckered into a long debate about the existence of Satan. Instead I decided to take the high road and focused on my friend’s assertion that evolution was wrong because of the fact that we humans cannot reach every part of our own body to scratch ourselves. True story. Now that I have a little more time on my hands I decided I will take the bait and turn my attention to THE DARK ONE. Let me make a clear declarative statement . People, who believe the Devil exists, cannot also believe in God (at least not God as most of us understand him). When I Goggled the idea that people can’t believe in both God and the Devil I was surprised nothing came right up. I’m sure...

I’ve been pulling 12 hour days lately and have had no time to write, so to make it up to you, I thought I would show you a video of what I GUARANTEE the future will be like.   Did you see the size of those fish?