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The News You Hear as Background Noise as You Get on With Your Real Life

Here are the Top Ten GENERIC News Stories for 2011. Although this is a repost from 2010, for some reason, it continues to work.


1) A drunk (and/or high) celebrity had a meltdown, this year, outside his home (in a nightclub, on an airplane). Onlookers were shocked (not at all surprised) to hear the beloved movie star (TV actor, reality show contestant, presidential candidate), screaming curses and tossing racial slurs (shoes, angry birds) at his wife (girl friend, a male prostitute). Spokesperson for the celebrity said that the cause of the incident stemmed from a dosage problems the star was having with his medication. The celebrity has since checked into a rehab center and is in the processes of a complete lifestyle overhaul.

2) A Washington think-tank estimated that countless hours of productivity were lost this year, as millions tuned in to observe the sporting event (trial, political demonstrations, presidential debate) of the century. Many watched at their offices but even more m…

A Hitchslap to Bill Bennett in Honor of Christopher Hitchens

While accidently watching the CBS Early Show this morning (because God knows I would never watch crap like that intentionally) conservative commentator, Bill Bennett, had this to say about the death of Christopher Hitchens “I hope, as the big Atheist he was, he is in for a big surprise.” Here is where I have a problem with some supposed “Christians” like Bennett. People like that might be able to produce a thought on occasion but their brains are incapable of following through on those thought. They are too unimaginative to realize that thoughts, if true, lead to conclusions and those conclusions should lead to consequences. Let me continue Bennett’s thought for him, since he seems too dim witted to do so himself. I hope as the Atheist that Hitchens was, that he is in for a big surprise… and that there is a god, because wouldn’t it be great if Hitchens (of whom just seconds before I said I enjoyed drinking and debating with) wouldn’t it be great if he burns in hell for all eternity.

T…

Why Can't We Elect Someone Like This?

This was done by Eric August Weber.  Here is the site I got it from: http://vimeo.com/22720922?ab

Occupy Wall Street Verses the Real Enemy

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If this blog accomplishes nothing in its existence, I feel it my duty to at least help make sure everyone sees this video. This is the police response to a demonstration at Northern California’s UC Davis, Friday.

In a reaction to the college’s leadership in the run up to this action, UCD’s faculty association asked the University’s Chancellor, Linda Katehi, to resign. In an eerie show of solidarity with protesters, students linked arms and lined the road for three blocks, outside the building in which the Chancellor was speaking. This was the Chancellors walk to her car.

On the few occasions that I make predictions, I usually get it wrong. So to increase my odds, this time, I’m predicting something that has already happened. I’m predicting that the “Occupy Wall Street” movement has already won. How? Let me borrow the people’s microphone for a moment.

News editors love to deliver stories that fit what they believe their audiences want to hear. Unfortunately, nothing of the OWS story …

Stephen Fry and F. Scott Fitzgerald

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"In consequence I'm inclined to reserve all judgements, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores." - F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I have just finished The Great Gatsby.  Fitzgerald's crisp precise writing brought, trotting into my consciousness, like a fawn treading lightly over virgin fallen leaves, the memory of this witty and whimsical Stephen Fry video. Some day, me talk pretty like them, too.

Zombie Propaganda Posters

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In film school, I was taught that the mindless zombies in George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, were a metaphor for the unthinking fear mongers that arose during the McCarthy era. The insatiable hordes in Dawn of the Dead represented the unrestrained consumerism of western society. Zombies can be Communists, Capitalists or post colonialists. Even the choice made by the common working man, to lead a monotonous and uninspired life, can be brain food for a zombie movie (or is Shawn of the Dead just a harmlessparody?) I think zombies are all things, to all people.  So to continue the tradition, here are some zombie propaganda posters I put together for you.  Happy Halloween.


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Are Republicans More Anti-Science Then Democrats?

News organizations across the globe should count themselves lucky that I am basically a lazy slob. For if I were otherwise, mega media conglomerates would shutter at the sheer number of snarky letters my angry fingers would produce. I would drive them to their knees with the frequency by which they would be forced to casually hit the delete button of their inbox. Many editorial rooms would be driven to block my emails altogether, requiring me to take my limitless aggression out on innocent questioners posting on Ask Google. Thank whatever god you pray too, that we do not live in such a hellish dystopia.


Mostly, I just write to NPR, and only occasionally. It’s because, all and all, I think they are doing an OK job and I want to make sure they continue to do so. I think the rest of the media are a lost cause. Nowadays news is nothing more than scheduled press releases and infomercials disguised as stories. Pick up the book, It’s Not News, It’s Fark, by Drew Curtis. He does a great job …