Posts

F*ck Me, Ray Bradbury

Image
I want to be the first one to link to this. I love at the end when she slaps the girl wearing the Kurt Vonnegut T shirt.

Is the oil spill really that bad?

Image
The following is either the thought process of a skeptic or the mad scribblings of a schizophrenic mind.  First the obligatory disclaimer - All of the preliminary investigation suggests BP was grossly negligent in regards to the recent oil spill. BP should pay every cent for the cleanup and be heavily fined for the damage that it caused to the environment and to people’s lives. (Offer not valid where prohibited by law.) With that said, will the Gulf recover from this spill a lot faster than we expected? From the beginning something didn’t seem right about the media’s coverage of this spill. What I remember from the Exxon Valdez disaster are images of scores of workers in hazmat suits using giant pressure sprayers along large runs of coastlines. I haven’t seen that here. I know this spill is bad but why is it that all of the images I see of this disaster only involve close ups of fish and frames of marshland about 20 to 30 feet wide. Oh Nick, don’t be suckered. The reason you don’t

Portraits of Strangers

Image
I’ve said I don’t really like people much, but I DO love the Human race. Take a second to go to this wed site on flicker called Portraits of Strangers . Human Beings are wonderful.

HOW OPINION POLLS WORK

Yesterday the Skeptical community was abuzz about a crooked poll, PZ Myers found on a creationist website. It reminded me of this clip from a great, British sitcom I loved in the 80’s called “Yes Minister.” If you don’t know, PZ Myers is a biology professor at the University of Minnesota Morris. On his website, Pharyngula , he is a distinguished bulldog, relentlessly fighting the nonsense that is creationism and intelligent design. The poll question was: What do you believe about evolution? It’s a religion. 46% It’s a fact! 43% It’s a reasonable scientific theory 11% The skullduggery here, as PZ points out, is that the creationists split the reasonable choice into two, thereby ensuring its loss and their win.

URBAN LEGEND TRUE

Image
Someone at the office told me this story: It seems there was this zoo in Bristol, England, which had a small secondary parking lot that was owned and administered, not by the zoo, but by the city. It was manned by a loyal parking attendant, who in 25 years , never missed a day of work. That is until one day, when the parking attendant didn’t show up for work. The zoo administrator called the city to tell them they needed to send a replacement over. The city said they had no idea what the zoo administrator was talking about. The city had no employee collecting money for them in that location. It seems this phony parking attendant had been collecting money and pocketing it. They figured it was 400 pounds a day for the past 25 years. When the authorities went to the employee’s home they found it empty and no one knows what had become of him. When I heard this story, immediately my “skepty” sense started tingling. I informed my coworker that what he just told me was probably an urban leg

DISCO STROBE LIGHT AND RACOONS IN MY GARAGE HAVE LED ME TO MY FIRST PODCAST

Image
Here is the progression. After discovering the dirty animals in the rafters I started asking friends what I should do about it. Some suggested poison, but I was afraid my cat might get into that. Some said I should trap the animal but I already have experience with this. In the end, you find yourself in possession of a ravenous, spitting, growling, devil beast contained in a flimsy cage, which you then have to set free in the woods someplace. Here is a little advice. After relating the ghastly story to your friends of trying to unlatch the cage door for this flea (and possibly rabies) infested vermin, do not finish by showing them a picture that you snapped on your phone of the trapped beast. All you will elicit is sympathy for the monster and comments of how cruel YOU are. I swear there was spitting and growling and clawing at the cage handle. It was horrific So where does the strobe light fit in? Well one of my friends suggested I put a strobe light in my garage at night. He said t

TIDAL WAVE CAUSED BY OIL VOLCANO TO SLAM INTO FLORIDA -more critical thinking in action

Image
Someone sent me this video recently, and it wasn’t even my birthday. Thank you very much. I live to address claims like these. So if we are going to evaluate a video like this, why don’t we start with the two guys talking? A quick Google search for Bill Ryan and Dr Bill Deagle (the guy without the accent) brings up their web sites. Deagle’s site talks about how the Federal Reserve, 911 and the Avian Flu are all tied together to bring about a “New World Order.” Bill Ryan’s web site talks about Freemasons, World War III (which is apparently going to happen in the next 18 to 24 months) an “Anglo-Saxon Mission” to Christianize the world and of course the “New World Order.” Well, I guess my work here is done. Good night everybody. Drive carefully, and don’t forget to tip your waitresses. Actually that’s not quite fair. What I did there was called an “ad hominem argument.” I attacked the messengers, rather than the message, and it is a logical fallacy. So, let’s actually look at the cl

THE BEST DINOSAUR

Image

BARACK OBAMA IS NOT GOING TO GET INVOLVED WITH THIS EMERGENCY, AND THAT’S A GOOD THING

Image
I know what you’ve been feeling. The president should do something about this oil spill. He should personally take charge of the capping effort. You imagine Barack Obama on a Naval destroyer. His one hand grasping the rigging, leaning past the bow of the ship, his other hand shading his eyes, as he scans the watery horizon for any sign of the source of the oil. When the ship finally arrives at the epicenter of the disaster, the President has already stripped down to a bathing suit, in preparation for what everyone knows he must do. Executing a perfect swan dive, he plunges into the thick black whirlpool, a large shark knife clenched between his teeth. Ok, maybe that’s not what you are imagining. I don’t know. You are going to have to work out all that homoerotic fantasizing yourself. I can’t help you. Either way, you need to accept the idea that Barack Obama is not going to get involved with this emergency, and contrary to what you’re feeling, that’s probably a good thing.

AND TO THINK, JUST MOMENTS BEFORE, I WAS STANDING UNDER THAT VERY TREE PRAYING TO A FALSE IDLE

Image
A lightning strike, recently, in by backyard, completely obliterated one of my cypress trees. Was this the act of an angry god, punishing me for being an Atheist? Was it like the time the almighty sent a hurricane to Orlando to punish us for Gay Days but missed Disney? What about the time he tried to punish New Orleans for their debauchery, but missed Bourbon Street? I’ll say one thing for God; he sure is a lousy shot.

CHANGE YOUR MIND ABOUT SOMETHING

Image
Yesterday I was quietly sitting at my computer writing (ok surfing for pictures of woman in slave Princess Leia outfits) with my cat lounging innocently on my desk next to me when my wife burst into the office with a pair of scissors. “It’s time to take the stitches out of the cat,” She said ominously. It had been 14 days since our cat (Mr. Sneaches) had minor surgery to remove a large mole. I was shocked at her statement. “I’ll make an appointment with the vet tomorrow,” I said. “Then one of us will have to take off from work. Let’s just do it ourselves, right now!” she jeered while focusing the desk lamp on the unsuspecting victim. “Are you insane? You’re not a Vet. You don’t know what you are doing,” I protested shielding the cat from her advance. “Come on. It’s no big deal. You get under the knot and, snip, snip, snip.” I was convinced she was out of her mind. This delicate procedure could only be carried out in a modern sterile surgical arena and only by a team of highly tr

ANOTHER PUBLIC SERVICE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE TEXAS BOARD OF EDUCATION

Image
This week the Texas Board of Education adopted new teaching guidelines which include the following: deluding the rationale behind separation of church and state, removing Thomas Jefferson as an example of an influential political philosopher (because he was a secularist) and teaching that McCarthyism was justified. So you’re saying to yourself, “that’s Texas. They have the right to teach their kids whatever they want.” The problem is that national book publishers don’t usually make different school books for different states. The Texas market is so large the rest of the nation gets stuck with their school books.

HAPPY DRAW MUHAMMAD DAY

Image

THE CHURCH ISN’T LIABLE FOR SEXUAL ABUSE BECAUSE PRIESTS AREN’T EMPLOYEES OF THE VATICAN

Image
I don’t want my blog to be about religion all the time (really) but:  Monday, attorneys for the Vatican will be defending themselves against a sexual abuse claim brought against them in a federal court. “The Vatican is expected to assert that bishops aren't its employees because they aren't paid by Rome, don't act on Rome's behalf and aren't controlled day-to-day by the pope - factors courts use to determine whether employers are liable for the actions of their employees, (The Vatican's U.S. attorney, Jeffrey ) Lena told the AP. He said he would suggest to the court that it should avoid using the religious nature of the relationship between bishops and the pope as a basis for civil liability because it entangles the court in an analysis of religious doctrine that dates back to the apostles.” - Associated press THESE FUCKING GUYS!

ACCURATE CPR INSTRUCTIONS

Image
Can you believe this video? Don’t they know that the American Heart Association put out a report, way back in 2008, recommending that people NOT use mouth-to-mouth while administering CPR. The AHA found that uninterrupted hands-only CPR (100 compressions a minute) works just as well as the standard CPR for adults experiencing sudden cardiac arrest. If you want accurate instructions for CPR, I suggest this website instead . It’s much better, with text only - no annoying pictures.

BP & KATRINA – A COMPARISON MADE BY MEATHEADS

Image
There is this episode of “All in the Family” where both Archie and Michael each tell their version of an event that had just occurred. It is quickly proven that Archie’s version of the story is a complete fabrication but then it is pointed out that Michael’s version is also wrong. Gloria says to Michael, “You’re as bad as my father.” At which point Archie bursts into laughter “Ha, hear that Meathead, you’re as bad as I am!” For those of you who are too young to know what “All in the Family” is (I hate you) the joke is this: Without knowing it, Archie just made fun of himself. The conservative news outlets are saying this oil spill is Barack Obama’s Katrina. What does this mean? Are conservatives saying Obama is handling this disaster as badly as President Bush handled Katrina? If that is the case, isn’t the conservative media admitting that it’s been lying by saying that the response to Katrina wasn’t George Bush’s fault; that contrary to what they have been saying, Bush actually DI

WALKING ON WATER

Who would have thought that all you have to do is use water repellant shoes.

Psychic Cows and the Squirrels of Dubious 9

Image
Would you like to go on an extraordinary journey, to a fantastic planet; filled with incredible creatures, never before seen or even imagined by humans? You would? Then strap yourself in. Are you ready? Here we go…but first, I have to ask you a question. If ESP and telekinesis really does exist, why don’t we see these forces everywhere in nature? Proponents of the paranormal believe animals have more psychic abilities then humans. Do you think that’s true? I know that question seams off topic from a promised trip to another planet but as you’ll see, the answer to this question is the reason for the journey. So, let’s blast off. We’re traveling a thousand light years, to a fictional world, one in which nature uses all the benefits that ESP and telekinesis would offer, if those skills really did exist. Our space ship speeds across the galaxy in a blink of a eye. We have just arrived at the planet Dubious 9. We feel a faint vibration as our vessel descends into the atmosphere.

EVERYONE DRAW MUHAMMAD DAY

Image
May 20 th is “Everyone Draw Muhammad Day.” (EDMD) The idea started showing up on the internet ,after an implied threat by a radical Islamic website, became public, targeting Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the creators of the TV show “South Park.” Recently they had committed “blaspheme” by portraying the prophet Muhammad in their cartoon. To be clear,Trey and Matt did not show an image of Muhammad (which is strictly forbidden in Islamic law). Instead, they portrayed the prophet “disguised” in a bear suit, like a mascot at a sporting event. I have to hand it to them. Sometimes those guys are pure geniuses. The Radical Islamic website didn’t see it that way. They warned the “South Park Producers” that they would probably suffer the same fate as the filmmaker, Theo Van Gogh, who was murdered in 2004. You probably have heard this story by now, but here are a couple of interesting takes on the whole thing. First, many of the news segments reporting this story include the video clip of the bea

WHY, RATIONAL CRANK, WHY?

Image
Why is my blog called the Rational Crank? I admit that I can get quite cranky sometimes, especially since I wake up every morning to my cats butt in my face. “That’s because he loves his Dad,” my wife always says. "That's why Daddy drinks." I respond But my title does not refer to that kind of crank. I am using the definition of crank that means “crackpot.” You know, the guy with tinfoil on, not only the top of his head, but also tucked under his armpits for added protection; the guy who has named each of his fingernails; the guy who thinks that people from the department of education are breaking into his house while he’s away, and replace all of the forks in his kitchen with slightly shorter forks. I’m referring to myself as the kind of crank that is way out of the social norm, a misfit, an oddball, a fruitcake, a moon bat. And you know what? If you’re a regular reader of this blog you’re probably a crank too. (Oh, now that’s a good way to get more readers, Nick, in