Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Late Night Snack - episode 012

This week we talk about ten MORE commandments, x rated candid camera, and the national security threat that is Yarn Bombing. Plus the conspiracy game takes a trip to the most evil place on the planet, the Denver International Airport.

MP3 File

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Worst Spaceship Ever Designed for Film

The Rational Cranks is in the middle of the holiday rush.  Another episode of The Late Night Snack is on its way, I promise.  Until then, ladies and gentlemen I present to you, my Sketchup model of the Alpha 7, from Barbarella.  This is my nomination for the WORSE spaceship ever designed for film.  It’s so bad that, it is unclear, in the move, as to which end is the front of the ship. It is so bad that when the ship is preparing to take off, those white spheres, on what I assume are the engines, begin to inflate and deflate in a pulsating rhythm like balloons, RUBBER BALLONS! It made me feel dirty to watch it.  It’s a good thing Jane Fonda was in the movie or else I don’t think I could have gotten through it.  Ironically, with wall to wall shag carpet, a mural of Seurat's Grande Jatte and Circus and a kinetic art computer named Alfie, this abomination contained the BEST spaceship cockpit ever designed for film.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Late Night Snack - 011

What does rising sea levels mean to Miami Beach? Will the taxpayer have to pay more to save million dollar hotels or do we all get to go door to door in motor boats? The World is coming to an end, or is it?

MP3 File

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Late Night Snack - episode 010

This episode we discuss, James Bond, the Ten Commandments, and Francis the talking Highlander. We also have an exciting new conspiracy game - can you guess who is the Antichrist? And to our tens of listeners we need your help. Can anyone tell us what is in the breast pocket on the mummified body of Bertrand Russell?

MP3 File

Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Late Night Snack - episode 009

Piss Christ, Hagar the Horrible, and Candid Camera - this time the Late Night Snack talks about Art and Religion.  And what would prompt Rachel to say “You had me at glow-in-the-dark leotards?”

MP3 File

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Late Night Snack - Episode 007

This episode we talk about the Amish, cheese doodles, Amelia Earhart being eaten by giant another addition of the Conspiracy Game.

MP3 File

Saturday, July 21, 2012

The Late Night Snack - episode 006

This week we talk about life choices, Another Earth, and what a truly wonderful man Scrooge McDuck was.

MP3 File

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

THE LATE NIGHT SNACK - episode 001

We here at The Late Night Snack are not slaves to the suppressive corporate ideal that numbers should be used sequentially. To that end, we present episode 001 - that’s not confusing, right?

In this episode we talk about the responsibility of the artist to society and other passionate crap - and another installment of The Conspiracy Game.

MP3 File

Saturday, June 9, 2012

The Late Night Snack - episode 004

This episode - dolphin conspiracies, the three stooges, gay marriage, chocolate, superheroes, Wall Street, sexy moms, and monkeys wearing swim trunks.

MP3 File

Monday, June 4, 2012

Russell Crow and the Flood

A friend of mine posted on Facebook that he was looking forward to the upcoming Noah movie with Russell Crow. This got me thinking.  In that story, Noah is portrayed as a virtues man but in reality who is the hero there? Who is saved? Not the best of humanity, surely. If I was writing the movie this is a scene I might include:
Imagine as the flood water begin to rise. The town’s people start realizing their mistake and many decide to make a run towards the ark. You can imagine a young mother with her child trudging through the mud, getting to the Ark and finding the gangplank has already been raised. In desperation she holds up her child toward the upper deck. “Please,” she cries, “I have sinned, I am not worthy. but at least save my baby.” As the rising waters begin to make the massive ship shift, Noah, standing at the rail, spots the young woman.  The water is now at her waist. My inspirational addition to the bible story would have Noah call out to his sons, “Quick fetch a rope and a basket.” As Noah secures the rope to the basket his oldest son protest, “But father this might be interpreted by the Almighty as going against Gods will.”
“if that is true, then let my soul be damned. Today, I will save a child.” He throws the basic to the mother. The woman places the child in the basket just before she is enveloped by the wave, and in the pounding rain, the child is hauled to safety.

What we get instead is Noah at the railing turning his back on the people below, making his way to the lower decks. As the black waters rise, he and his family sit at a table eating there first dinner in silence. The muffled screams of people and animals are heard outside. Hooves of horrified innocent beasts throw themselves at the hull. Humans claw at the wood. Slowly the noises drop away, as one by one, man and animal alike is suffocated by the waves.  Noah and his family ignore it all, and continue to eat their dinner thus securing their place in heaven. These are not honorable people. This is a family of psychopaths. Maybe it would have been better that all humanity parish that day and allow God to try again with a new species rather then allow those few to be our forefather.

I understand that I am not going to heaven. That’s fine. But I assume that most of the religious believe they are going there. As they are there sipping margaritas and being fanned by beautiful woman (or man) how will they enjoy themselves knowing that billions of there fellow humans are at that moment, suffering unimaginable torture below. How can one truly be happy with the knowledge that billions are having their flesh ripped from their body for all eternity for what can only be described as finite sins. I get it, we all need to be punished for the bad things we do. But if by some miracle I made it to heaven (and believe me it would take a miracle) I personally could never be happy knowing others (people I personally know) were suffering horribly for eternity (let me repeat “for eternity”) for sins they did while they were alive. You have to ask yourself, how is that margarita going to taste?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Saving The World - One New Podcast At A Time

The Rational Crank has been away for a while, but I have something new, a PODCAST.  Every few weeks or so, a few of my friends and I will get together over a late night dinner and chat about stuff - some overlooked news, some strange  ideas and some bad jokes.  We start with a conspiracy game and end by solving all the world's problems.  If you like this, let me know and tell a friend.  You can also leave a review on iTunes, Digg or your portal of choice. 

Alright, honestly, I don't even know how to put this on iTunes, Digg or my portal of choice yet.  I don't even know what to call it.  One step at a time, ok.   Anyone know what an RSS feed is?   

I would like to give a big thanks to all of my friends on the show.  I would also like to thank the podcasts that inspired me: the Skeptics Guide To the Universe, The Amateur Scientist, The Conspiracy Skeptic, The Dumbasses Guide to Knowledge, and Potter and Pals.  I freely admit stealing a little something from all of these great podcasts.      

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Greatest Speech Ever Charlie Chaplin

In the movie The Great Dictator, Charlie Chaplin plays a poor Jewish shop keeper who just happens to resemble a ruthless dictator of a powerful fascist state.  Through a series of odd circumstances, Chaplin’s "Little Tramp" finds himself addressing a massive war rally, dressed as the tyrant.  This is one of Chaplin’s rare speaking roles.  In fact, in this entire movie, this is the only time Chaplin speaks at all.  Here is what he said: 

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


It has been two months since my last post. Forgive me. My mother just had open heart surgery and I am sure you will understand when I say my thoughts were not on this blog but elsewhere. She is in rehabilitation now and is progressing, albeit, slowly. I often say I do not want this blog to constantly be about religion, but this seems to be one of those moments when I feel my comments on the subject, carry some extra weight. As an Atheist, I must admit that it is moments like this, that I do believe religious people are more fortunate than nonbelievers (in at least one respect). It is hard being an Atheist and not having anyone to beg to. I can do nothing. Praying (or not praying) will not change the outcome of any surgery. I am left with nothing to do but sit outside the operating room and wait. I can call relatives up North, and keep them informed of my mother’s progress. I can console my nieces. I can (of course) try to take care of my father. I can make sure he is eating - try to get him to go home and get some sleep. That is all. I can’t beg to anyone to ensure the operation will go any better than it is destined to. I am helpless. It is at moments like this that I can see the compelling allure of religion. How nice it would be to think that as long as I pray, I will somehow affect the results of the surgery. How comforting it would be to convince myself, that there is an all powerful being taking care of my mother, looking out for her, a Sky Daddy or Santa Clause to make it all better. It would be so easy to numb the mind with those soothing thoughts. But Atheists get none of that. I know the reality that, religion or no religion, major surgery on an eighty year old woman is not good. It will not be easy, either during the procedure, nor the recovery afterward. That is the hard truth of the situation.

There is a famous Carl Sagan quote. “It is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is, then to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.” Sagan is the closest thing I have to a hero but I must admit that at this moment, even that quote does not comfort me. But to those of you who think this admission is some subconscious cry to be converted, I assure you it most definitely is not. To clarify my position, let me offer you this quote from Bernard Shaw. “The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.”

So what does an Atheist do? I do not want to do nothing. I do not pray, because in my eyes that is the same as doing nothing. I WILL NOT do nothing. So I do what I can. I call relatives up North. I console my nieces. I try to take care of my father. I make sure he is eating - try to get him to go home and get some sleep. That is all we Atheists can do. It does not sound like much, but I suppose it is important to the people around us, my relatives, my father. Maybe that’s what makes it important. I try to support the people around me and they try to support me. Still it’s not enough, but sometimes that’s all you get.